


Doll's Curse

by TreesAndCheese



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mild Gore, death mention, livingdoll!Matthew
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-05-17
Packaged: 2019-02-26 15:18:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 16,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13238481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TreesAndCheese/pseuds/TreesAndCheese
Summary: Matthew is a living doll forced to kill someone every time he is bought. He is perfectly fine with his life... until he meets a certain man. Will he be able to go against everything he has known? Or will he be forced to do what he does best? (Reposted from my fanfiction.net account.)





	1. A New Home?

**Author's Note:**

> This is reposted from my fanfiction account. Will be updated periodically, but you can just read the complete version over there. ( .fanfiction.net/s/7805567/1/Doll-s-Curse ) Lmao I wrote this forever ago, tbh I'm kinda embarrassed about it. But eh, whatever time to start improving again I suppose.
> 
> Aims to update mondays.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An au where Matthew (Canada) is a living doll forced to kill anyone who owns him. Ivan is just a simple man who wants to feel a little less lonely.

The little girl was found dead on her bed three days after her father returned form his trip across the country. It was shocking, to say the least, when her parents found she would not wake. Eventually the 'experts' decided that she died of a heart attack in her sleep. At the foot of her bed was a smiling doll. It was her father's gift to his precious little angel. It was a boy with golden hair, enchanting purple eyes, and a ruby red smile. It was dressed in a deep scarlet dress, almost the color of fresh blood, with black lace adorning it. He was beautiful, but they hid a dark secret. A mysterious trail of death that followed it across continents and oceans. With every new owner there was a new death and his eyes would get ever so slightly darker.

Two days after she died they threw the doll in their dumpster. They swear that it had been moving. They would leave him in her room over her bed and they would come back and he was sitting on her bed. Or he would be standing on the window and seem to gaze longingly outside. Once they came back and he was right next to the door. They also claimed that he would watch them whenever they went into their lost daughter's room. Finally they had enough, choosing to banish him to the dumpster instead of dealing with the stress and paranoia.

He didn't blame them one bit.

It was strange to be a living doll. To never sleep or age. It was impossible to feel and to be loved, and in his opinion, to love. He knew nothing of feelings. He could not feel the breeze flowing through his hair in his short trips outside. He couldn't feel the warmth of the little girls when they held him closely. He also couldn't feel the anguish others felt when his work was done. He knew not of their happiness and sadness.

His name was Matthew, even though no one had ever called him that besides his maker. He couldn't remember who it was exactly, or how long ago. He only had strange blurry memories of a stern man carefully sculpting every detail of his body. Painting his smile with the slightest of scowls on his face. He had carefully sewn his lovely dress, it was only a dress because he had not yet bothered to learn to make pants. And snow, blindingly white, settled outside the window.

Anyway, now he spent his time wandering from family to family, killing loved ones and generally being despicable to be around. No one ever suspected the beautiful doll, smiling from the top shelf. No one believe the traumatized family when they said there was something wrong with him. They didn't know that he had no choice in the matter. He did it because he had to. It was what he was created for, his only purpose in life. It definitely wasn't because he wanted to. He really wanted...

If he were truly honest with himself he would admit that he wanted to be seen as himself. For someone to notice his personality and not fear him for it. For someone to see him and care for him. But he knew that would never happen. He didn't even believe he had the right to wish for it.

So once again he found himself in a trashcan. This was a fairly normal occurrence for him, just another part of his not-quite-a-life. Thus he had to find another way into someone else's life. If he could he would just stay outside until he was unrecognizable. A strange want, yes, but he had spent most of his time in little girl's bedrooms, one right after another. He would either be awaiting his chance to kill or waiting until he was abandoned again. If he knew about emotions, he would notice exactly how lonely he was and it would drive him mad.

He carefully climbed his way out of the trashcan. He fixed his hair and watched as his dress cleaned itself. Once the red bow in his hair was back to it's usual perfection he picked a direction and started his search for a new family. He walked unseen in the shadows for a good number of streets he happened across a yard-sale. Against his will his little slippered feet brought him up onto one of the tables next to some other toys. Once he sat down he felt an overwhelming sense of right. That has been what has forcing him through the same routine after all these years. The need to do this over and over again was embedded in him since his creation. Eventually someone took notice of him, so he was forced to stay perfectly still. It was also against his will, whenever someone would gaze upon him he would he forced to freeze.

It was a fairly tall man that had wandered over to the table he was perched on. He was different then everyone around him. For one, he was bundled up a lot more. Another was the strange... aura. There was no other way to describe it really. Every one just kind of edged away from him. He looked at the other toys passively before noticing Matthew. There was a slight change deep in his eyes. It was a look he had seen countless times. The man was hooked. He was on his way to a new house. The large man brought up a gloved hand to brush delicately across his cheek. He gently traced his perfect, devil red, smile and brought them down to examine the fabric of his dress. He brought them up for one last brush on the tip of his nose before murmuring to himself.

"You look so sad, Little One." Only Matthew heard him say this. If Matthew had the ability to look confused he would have. That was a rarity, his purpose was very simple after all. Kill, kill, kill. But... no one had ever said that to him before. If anything they commented on his beautiful smile or his eyes that seemed to sparkle. This man was...different.

"You are a boy, da? Then I wonder why you are wearing such a pretty dress. Its a very interesting color." He leaned in to keep his voice down and examine his clothes closer, "The color of blood..." He said this last bit very quietly, absently.

Matthew actually blushed ever so lightly under the stare. The man noticed this and his eyes widened.

Shoot, freaked him out already. He would have been interesting to go home with. He had never actually thought that before. Usually he didn't care who picked him up.

To his surprise he was picked up and brought over to whoever was hosting the yard-sale.

"I would like to buy this doll, da? How much is it?" The man said this... cheerfully. But unhappily... is that possible? It was faked happiness, like sweet sugar venom.

"I-I'm sorry. I don't think that doll is mine... so I can't really sell it to you." He stuttered back in extreme fear.

Matthew stopped paying attention as the two continued to talk. Instead he wondered who was up next. This man's daughter? His sister? His wife? For once he actually felt a twinge of something, deep inside him. He didn't know what it was, it was an entirely foreign feeling. And it scared him.

Eventually the man 'convinced' the other to let him buy Matthew. He carefully put Matthew in the car along with a lamp that he bought.

"I'm Ivan. I hope you like it in my house. It's a little lonely there, but that might change, da?" Ivan smiled at the still surprised Matthew. This... could be interesting.

~~~~

The trip home was rather short. They arrived at a large house right on the edge of the town. As they drove up the long driveway Matthew stared at his new temporary home. The car came to a stop and he took the time when the man was distracted to fix his hair and put his hands in his lap. When the man looked back over at him he was still as stone with his signature smile in place and in a slightly different pose. He waited with contained glee to see his reaction. Shockingly, it was nothing more then the rise of an eyebrow before climbing out of the car and walking to the trunk to get out the groceries stashed there. While he was gone Matthew's smile slipped into a pout. That was disappointing. The one enjoyable part of his life was messing people, not that it ever lasted long.

Quite suddenly, his door was opened. Ivan was back and it effectively caused him to be unable to smile in time. Instead he was left with the tiny pout still on his lips. The man giggled at the look before picking him up and bringing him inside the house.

Almost immediately upon entering the house, his phone rang. He picked up the phone and had an angry conversation with who ever was on the other line. All the while he looked at Matthew so he was unable to sneak off to be alone for awhile to figure things out. It was a few minutes before he hung up the phone.

"Stupid people at my work can't do anything right." Ivan said sharply before shoving the groceries in their proper place. "Don't break anything."

And with that, he was out the door.


	2. Pushed Too Far

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matthew the living doll explores this new home and wonders about the strange man that bought him.

Matthew looked at the closed door for a long moment, pondering over his new situation. So much had changed in short amount of time. His life had always been so simple. Kill, wait, kill, wait, kill. An endless cycle that was so simple to handle. _And it won't change now._ He thought stubbornly. There was nothing different about this human. There was no way he would even try to change his life for someone that would definitely end up hating him.

He decided to explore his new home and to find out for whom he was here. He carefully climbed down the table onto a chair and then the floor. Taking a moment to stretch, he looked around himself. He was in a fairly modern kitchen. Kitchens were never really that interesting to him, so he quickly moved on. He wandered over to the living room, noting the large couch that would probably be comfortable. It was hard for him to tell, but he could always guess. He wandered from room to room, not really finding anything of interest until he made it to the bedrooms. There were several plain guest bedrooms. He then stumbled across what looked like a room for two little girls. At first he thought that was why he was there, but then he noticed something was...off. The lamps were not working and everything was coated in a thick layer of dust.

The walls were a light pink and there were two beds pushed against opposite sides of the room. Dolls, stuffed animals, and ribbons were scattered across the room. The air was stale and dust swirled in the sunlight when he walked across the room. It was obvious to Matthew that no little girls had lived here in a very long time. Which left him curious on why exactly he was in this house. He had always been bought for a defenseless little girl. Ones who don't tell their parents about their strange dolls. Sometimes he can be really obvious about it and they're just _thrilled_ to have a doll that thought, a doll that moved. They never realized the dangers. Deciding to ponder over it later he continued his search around the house.

The very next door he found was probably Ivan's room. He opened the door and looked at it in awe for a moment. It was lush and so very, very different from any room he had ever occupied. It was a lot more mature, for one thing. The colors were dark red, black, with some splashes of white. Matthew thought it was so very pretty. If he had to pick colors he liked then it would definitely be those. There was a large red rug in the center of the room. He circled the room, feeling very at peace. For once there was no pressing need to kill. No need to plan. No need to wait. Instead those needs were replaced by something else. Something...new.

Matthew shook his head and walked into the adjoining room which turned out to be a bathroom. Matthew looked up the ornate mirror above the sink. After a moment of thought and consideration he climbed up onto the counter to look in the mirror. He had never liked looking at himself, but it had been a while and he should see if he changed at all in the last decade. He brushed himself off from his short climb. It was hard to get around when everything was so big. He could get bigger, to an extant, and shrink quite a lot but it took a lot of energy so he could never hold either form for very long. Slowly, he turned around to look in the mirror.

Medium-to-dark purple eyes stared back at him.

"They got so dark." He murmured almost sadly. He put his hand on the glass and leaned forward to examine them critically. Every death, every ounce of pain he had caused made his eyes just get darker and darker. "They'll be completely black soon. Maybe another ten years." They had gotten darker a lot faster recently. When he was first made his eyes had been so light and joyous.

He looked at his hands. They were surprisingly dainty for a doll. He checked them for blood. There was never any. He always thought he could see it, but it was all in his head. His killings were clean, not a drop spilled unless absolutely necessary. With a sigh he started to carefully climb back down.

"Maybe I'll sit on the bed until he comes back." Matthew said to himself quietly.

It was very late at night when Ivan came back, when he did he simply collapsed on his bed and was out cold. Matthew allowed himself a little grin. _Time to play Mess With the Human._ He quietly got up and made his way out of the bedroom door.

~TreesAndCheese~

Matthew stood back and grinned at his work. He had managed to find some nice red paint and a paint brush and set to work writing his message. _Might as well introduce myself, eh?_

Written on the wall, dripping with crimson, was the message "Hello Ivan. I'm Matthew."

He was almost proud of himself. It had taken him the entire night to write even such a short message. In order to get it was large as possible he had to move furniture to stand on. He had never told anyone his name before, but this human was actually a little interesting. He hoped he could mess with him for a long time before he had to kill him. Suddenly there was the distant sound of a shrill alarm. He heard cussing and heavy footfalls from his direction of his bedroom. Matthew sat on the couch that was placed up against the wall. He stared blankly ahead with the smile that always adorned his face. It was barely a second later that a grumpy Ivan made his way to the coffee machine. He didn't even look over to the living room until his third cup of the dark liquid. When he did look over there was a comically shocked expression frozen in place of his normal composed facade.

He slammed down his mug with enough force to cause small fractures to appear in the ceramic. He spun around so he was facing completely away from the wall and the smiling doll.

"I hope you were planning on painting over that again. I can not have that on my wall when people come over." He growled, just trying to calm down his heartbeat.

"No. I wasn't really." Came the voice from behind him. He spun back around at a break-neck speed. Two equally shocked expressions met from across the room.

Matthew had never _ever_ talked to a human before. Frankly, he had no idea that he even could. The sight of Ivan gapping at him like a fish would have normally have been very amusing, but he knew he had pushed to far. There was no way he would just let go on now the he knew. He couldn't just write it off as his imagination anymore. Now he had been pushed into action.

Ivan inhaled a sharp gasp of shock and ran out the door. Matthew stared after him in a muted surprise. For the first time ever he felt an emotion, sadness. Matthew only looked at the slammed door before bringing his eyes down to stare at his slippered feet and feel another new emotion: regret.

~ TreesAndCheese ~

Ivan came back almost an hour later. Angry shouts announced his arrival. Matthew glanced at the entry way from his spot on the couch. The jingling of the keys and door nob seemed abnormally loud.

Ivan came in, still in his pajamas, carrying someone over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. It was painfully obvious that whoever it was did not want to be there. He quickly found Matthew, pretty much were he left him, and plopped the cussing man right in front of him.

"I'm telling you that thing is possessed." Ivan sounded so small, like a child. Matthew didn't even bother listening to the rest of his conversation. He retreated to the back of his mind and just watched. He saw the flashing, forest green eyes under bushy eyebrows. Their voices blended together and faded in and out. Then suddenly this new man was _way to close._

"I honestly have no idea why you even brought me here. Do you realize how unlikely it is that a _doll_ that you bought is possessed. You always say magic is bullocks, I don't know why you expect me to help you." This man said crossly.

"Arthur... just do something." Ivan whined. "It's alive, I'm telling you." Then the two humans took a moment to just stare at each other. Narrowed green eyes battled with wide amethyst ones.

"Prove to me that it's alive and I'll help you." Challenge was evident in his tone. Ivan just pointed to the message written on the wall. "That proves nothing git! It proves you need to lay off the vodka! Thats what it proves!" His arms flailed as he screeched.

He made to leave. "Wait! He talks too!" Ivan rounded on Matthew, "Say something."

Matthew just stared straight head. For some reason he did want to talk to Ivan, but he couldn't even try when they were both staring at him like that.

They had a stare down for a full minute before they finally gave up.

"See? There is nothing wrong with him." Arthur grumbled and crossed his arms over his sweater vest.

"There is," He snapped back, "I knew there was something wrong from the moment I bought him." He

brought his eyes down to look at him again, but otherwise seemed a lot calmer. Arthur, however, froze.

"Twit! If you knew something was wrong why the bloody hell you buy him!" He hollered at the top of his lungs.

By now Ivan was completely calm. "I just... I just wanted to _pretend_ he was alive. I thought it would make this house a little lonely." He looked around the huge, emotionally and physically empty room. "I just want..."

"It's fine Ivan, I know it's been hard to deal wi-" Aurthur stooped as he caught sight of Ivan look. He was smiling now, but it seemed to be full of malice. An aura of purple flared around him They both fell silent.

As they looked down at the floor, Matthew relaxed enough to let himself ponder over what was said. _What happened? What's hard to deal with?_

"Ivan... why don't you just take a week off, lad?" Arthur had his hand on his shoulder. Ivan looked down at the floor in thought, his long bangs covered his face. He nodded slowly after a while. Arthur breathed out a puff of air in relief.

"Well, good for you. I'll tell Boss, so don't even worry about it, ok?" Within a few moments he was gone.

"They’re going to burn down the building by the time I get back." He muttered under his breath before sitting down on the couch right across from Matthew, effectively making sure he couldn't move anywhere.

If he could have pouted, he would have. _Honestly, it would just be easier to kill him now..._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reposted from my fanfiction account. Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed it, feel free to let me know. I am in the process of reposting old work and now beginning to try and write some new stuff. All kudos and comments are greatly appreciated. Aims to update on Mondays.


	3. Teasing A Man Who Knits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matthew and Ivan start to get used to living with each other and find a very delicate balance. Their domestic comfort balanced on a knife's edge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm actually pretty excited about the next few chapters! Anyway, if you liked it, let me know!

Things were very tense between them after Ivan's little "episode". The first couple of days were spent with Ivan moping around his house and Matthew staying dutifully still. He didn't know exactly why he was being so careful with this human. He could still easily ignore the urge to kill for now, but he knew it would just get more intense. After the first few days though, had had gotten bored. Or, at least, as close to bored as he could get when he was a living doll then had never had any emotions before that week.

Anyway, he had slowly slipped into his old habits of teasing humans. He started small, of course. Moving around when Ivan left the room, sometimes climbing on furniture. Surprisingly, it seemed that after the initial shock had worn off he had gone back to being very passive whenever he noticed he had moved.

He would simply roll his eyes or lift his eyebrows and move him out of the chair that he wanted to occupy. For it seemed Matthew always sat in _his_ chair, the one he liked in the living room and would always move there when he came back balancing his food and knitting. Yes, his new owner _knit_. It was a very unexpected find for him, but one he used to annoy him whenever possible.

Matthew scuttled down from the top of the bookcase where he had just hidden his knitting project. He grinned as he heard Ivan come back into the room from whatever he was doing in the kitchen.

For a moment Ivan just stared at the spot he had left his knitting before he had left the room. Then he sighed and covered his eyes with his hand in a rare show of exasperation.

"Okay," He sighed with his hand still over his eyes, "Where did you put it?"

Matthew grinned bigger and pointed to the _very_ top of his large bookcase, holding it until Ivan's hand slipped away from his face.

Ivan looked up and up and up. He cursed in Russian under his breath. They both knew he couldn't reach it unless he got his ladder out from the garage.

"Get. It. Down. Now." Ivan took his knitting very seriously, thank you very much. He scowled when he remembered that Matthew couldn't move when he was looking at him.

They had a few short conversations, mostly right before bed when he was too tired to open his eyes. Matthew talked to him, explaining why he couldn't say anything to Arthur.

He twirled on his heel to glare at the opposite wall.

Matthew could then finally put his arm down. He laughed lightly, a laugh like bells. "And what, cheri, would you do if I didn't?" There was just the barest hint of amusement in his passive voice.

"You wouldn't care to find out." Ivan growled out.

"You could try burning me! I'm pretty sure no one has tried that yet. Could be interesting." Matthew chuckled, because really; what could he do to hurt him?

"Just get it down." He said after a moment, sounding quieter than he intended.

"Fine, fine. Just stay turned around because I don't want to fall off that thing again." Matthew then took one more glance at him before striding over, easily climbing up the bookcase, and climbing back down. He placed the knitting on Ivan's big chair before making his way over to the couch to sit.

"Okay, you can turn around again." Matthew said, his small voice drifted over after a moment of situating himself on the couch.

Ivan spun around again, his maroon eyes focused on Matthew before looked at his knitting. He gave a sigh before plopping himself down on his chair and turning on the TV.

Ivan knit in silence for awhile as Matthew watched the pictures flash across the screen.

~TreesAndCheese ~

Then came the time that Ivan was obligated to go back to work. Ivan dragged himself out of bed, drank four cups of coffee and left. He was almost regretful to have to leave Matthew alone, but he had to go make sure no had burned down the building while he was gone. So he scooted his way out the door.

He was exhausted when he could finally drag himself back home. He wanted nothing more then a nice bottle of vodka while he knit in front of a fire. His hands shook as he unlocked his door. Scratch that, he just wanted to sleep. He had to stay overtime because the imbeciles at his workplace _completely_ messed up all of the files and receipts were _everywhere._ It was a nightmare.

He opened to door to reveal a pouting doll in a scarlet dress. He simply patted his head and shuffled to put his things away and his phone on the charger so he could just sleep. He yawned hugely and set to getting ready for bed. Matthew was there at every turn as he walked down the hallway, staring him down before he passed out of sight.

_He's fast._ He thought vaguely.

"I hope you were not too lonely, Little One. That’s the way things have to be. Work, there will always be work." Ivan grumbled unhappily.

He climbed into bed and fell asleep, completely unaware of the troubled blond still standing on his bedroom floor.

Matthew _knew_ this had gone on far too long. It had already been more than a week and he hadn't even started planning how to kill this one. He had grown far to comfortable with his life here.

With a sigh he looked at the sleeping man on the bed. He climbed up and pulled the blanket over him, tucking him in slightly.

_Perhaps... he could wait a few days._ But he could already feel the urge, the need to kill. He looked down at the sleeping man. So vulnerable. It would be so simple. He turned away, hating himself for the first time.

 


	4. All Fun And Games Until...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matthew's teasing goes a little awry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! There is violence in this chapter. And also blood.

Matthew waited in the dark.

_It's just a joke._ He reminded himself. _I'm not really going to kill him now. Just a joke._ His fingers flexed around the knife in his hands. _I'm just going to scare him a bit._

He tilted his head to the side as he heard the now familiar sound of an alarm clock going off upstairs. He listened to the heavy footsteps make their way down the stairs and readied to knife over his head.

Suddenly the cabinet door was swung open, causing the knife to shine in the light. There was a high-pitched squeak of fear and the door slammed closed.

He nearly doubled over in laughter. Oh God. The look on his _face._ It was priceless. And he squeaked! Oh, Ivan actually squeaked in fright. He couldn't have even hoped for a better reaction. It was _perfection_.

Trying to stifle his giggles he reached his hand out to slowly open the cabinet door, only to have it forcibly slammed back shut. His eyebrows crinkled delicately in confusion. He put his hand back on the door and pressed, only this time it didn't budge at all. After a couple more tries he could only assume that Ivan had his hand pressed against the door on the other side.

"Ivan! Ivan let me out." He pushed and shoved at the door in a futile attempt to get it open.

"I don't think I will, comrade. It was very rude of you to scare me like that." Ivan said with malicious cheerfulness.

Matthews mumbled a reply that sounded shockingly like 'Get over it you big baby.'

He could hear a drawer open and some shuffling in it. Suddenly the air was filled with the sound of tearing. Matthew pressed himself closer to the cabinet door to hear better. There was more muffled shuffling and soft bangs against the door that trapped him.

"You know what happens to misbehaving children, Matvey?" His patronizing voice drifted through the wood. "They get sent into time-out. You will stay there until you learn your lesson." Ivan chuckled as he finished getting ready to go to work. He could faintly hear Matthew's indignant squeal of " _I am not a child, trou de cul!"_

Ivan grinned over his second cup of coffee and looked at his cabinet that was now had a border made of neon orange duck-tape. He put away his mug, casting one last glance at the cupboard that now had some very colorful language pouring out of it.

He could do without plates for a couple of days...

~ TreesAndCheese ~

Matthew perked his head up after a few hours of failing to escape. He felt the last of his resolve slip away like water off a window. He shoved himself to his feet, hacking and slashing in the center of the cabinet door. His perfect, angelic smile was back on his face as the wood shipped away from beneath his blade. He could feel a dull panic rising up in him with every slash. He couldn't stop, but he needed to. He wanted to stop. _Stop, stop, stop._ Distantly, he heard the sound of the door being unlocked.

Finally, there was a hole big enough for him to squeeze through.

He landed soundlessly on his feet like a cat and immediately hid himself next to the fridge. He waited with perfect patience as his prey slowly made his way over to the kitchen. He had mumbled a conversation with the other man, Arthur.

His fingers tightened on the handle of the knife. He waited for the perfect time to strike. He had completely lost control of himself. It was like he was watching from somewhere else, screaming for it to stop. For it to end. He couldn't loosen his grip, couldn't turn away, couldn't save the one human he cared about.

Ivan turned his back to him while still talking on his cell phone. He felt all his muscles tense by themselves.

Suddenly, he jumped. He flung himself at the vulnerable human. He could fell the knife sink deep into the flesh below him.

As with every kill, he could feel the overwhelming feeling of _right_ swirl up his arm and deep in his veins. It settled deep in himself. He dropped the knife and shook his head wildly. He didn't want this feeling. It felt so _wrong, tainted_ , but yet, as always felt so right. Eventually the feeling faded enough for him to regain his senses.

For the first time in his existence he cried.

He scrambled toward the fallen phone. "Help! Help! You must come quick! Help, please, please, please." He shouted into the phone, accidentally holding it upside down in his haste.

~TreesAndCheese~

Arthur held the phone away from his face and looked at in confusion. Who was that?

"Ivan?" It sure didn't sound like him.

" _Non, this is Matthew. You must help. Please... I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to."_

"Matthew? You mean the doll?"

" _Oui." T_ here was some crying and blubbering in French.

Arthur sighed. He had seen enough of magic and the such-like to be able to ignore the fact that living dolls "don't exist".

"Okay, tell me what happened."

" _I stabbed him. I didn't want to, but then I just lost control and it_ just happened... _oh there's so much_ blood."

"Okay, don't worry I'm going to get some help. Just... put pressure on the wound until paramedics get there."

~ TreesAndCheese ~

Matthew dropped the phone and desperately made his way over to the body, slipping and sliding on the blood that pooled around the two like a rose.

_Please. Please don't die._

 


	5. Ivan's Sisters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time passes slowly, old memories are brought to light, and a dark past is shared.

Normally it was fairly easy for Matthew to cover up his tracks, even in the rare times that blood was spilt. This time, though, with these annoying emotions he did next to nothing to cover his tracks. Instead of cleaning up his mess, he sat there and cried. It was an odd sensation; crying. He had witnessed it several times in his not-quite-a-life, but he had never even thought it would be that intense. It was like he was drowning, drowning in despair. His crying, was not-quite-crying. He had no actually tears to cry, he was a doll after all.

The paramedics and police had shown up inside a house because of an anonymous tip. The scene they found there was really shocking. They immediately set to work at the man bleeding out on the floor, but were not hopeful because he had already lost a lot of blood. Matthew hid, of course, but when the paramedics showed up he hadn't even gotten rid of the cabinet door that he had forced his way out of. He watched with misery as the paramedics swarmed the place he had started to call home.

For the next few weeks reporters and investigators came in and out of his home to try to figure out who had stabbed him. They were, of course, unsuccessful. To bide time and to try to keep the once again pressing need to kill to a minimum Matthew hid in Ivan's bed through the day. He slipped away once a week to kill, walking as much as seven hours before picking a house. He always came back to this house, though all he had there were a few memories and oppressive sorrow. Feelings soon became something he was accustomed to. They were never good feelings and were instead sadness or even anger, but they were a lot more than he had ever had in his not-quite-a-life.

After a while the reporters left and the people lost interest and Matthew was free to wonder his lonely house at will. Not that he did. He was staring at the ceiling of Ivan's room when he distantly heard the door open. He wasn't too worried because Arthur had stopped by a few times, but he was completely ignored. Even when Aurthor tried the "exorcism" type thing to "attempt to remove evil spirits" from him. Which was ridiculous. He sighed at the footsteps echoing about the house. He was surprised when they just stopped, he turned his head, expecting to see Arthur staring back at him.

 _Odd._ He thought as he made his way out of the room to investigate. He carefully creaked open the door and stepped softly down the dark hallway. The only thing that was out of place was the light coming from the little girls' room. He silently opened the door, ready to kill whoever was stupid enough to break into his home.

There was a tall man silhouetted by the desk lamp. He seemed to be hunched over, looking intently and something clasped in his hand. He inched closer and noticed it was a picture frame. He cautiously scooted so he could see the their face.

"Ivan!" He shouted in shock. "Oh, I was so worried. I thought.. I thought that... and I didn't know what to _do._ And- _"_

He was cut off by Ivan looking at him. Matthew's glance traveled across every bit he could see of his face, the rest was thrown into shadow from the lamplight. A brand new feeling washed over him. It was so new, so great. It was relief.

"Matvey." Ivan murmured quietly, "Do you know what happened to my sisters?"

His gaze dropped to something on the night-stand; a newspaper. "No." Matthew whispered in the darkness, sliding into the shadows with the hopes of a better view of the paper. Unfortunately, he couldn't clearly see what was on it. There was definitely something wrong with Ivan. His posture was stiff and he seemed withdrawn.

"I had a lot of time to think in that hospital." He continued after a moment. "And I realized that you seemed familiar... that I had seen you before. Somewhere, but where?" He knocked the newspaper over towards Matthew.

He walked over to it, only after glancing at Ivan's form hunched over the picture frame. He cautiously flipped it over and brought it closer to the light so he could see the front page.

Taking up most of the space was a large picture of four little girls. He skimmed the article it went with.

 _Four girls...at a sleepover...November...playing "princess" with dolls... that night they took a picture..._ found dead. _.. cause unknown...tragedy._

His eyes widened as he took in the picture. Four little girls, according to the article the picture was taken that night, two smiling widely and the others had the barest hint of a smile. Each one was holding a doll or teddy bear... the one on the middle was holding him. His breath caught in his throat. He could easily recognize himself from about five or six years ago.

They were dead now. Ivan's sisters are dead. It was his fault.

Even under Ivan's gaze he took a step back. For once he was afraid, and it overrode his need to freeze when looked at.

So he ran.

He dashed out the door. He ran as fast as he could manage with Ivan following him and looking at him the entire time. It made it so each step was shaky and a lot slower then normal, like moving through syrup. Though he still manged stay a few paces from the pursuing Ivan.

He made it to the entryway, but could not reach the door handle. He cursed quietly and searched of a hiding place.

He quickly shrunk to a smaller size, three inches (which is something he did very rarely, as it tired him out quite quickly), and hid under the couch. He waited with bated breath as Ivan's heavy thunking books came into view. He was breathing heavily and seemed to be having a little trouble staying upright. Matthew hazarded a glance out form under the couch. Ivan looked like he was in pain.

"Matvey," He gasped out, " This running is not good for my injury, da? I know you’re still here, so come out."

Matthew stopped for a moment and just considered. With a deep breath he stepped out, ready to face whatever was coming. He returned to normal size and slowly turned to face Ivan's intense gaze.

_Oh, shit._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Thanks for reading. Please leave a review or a kudos if you can as they are very much appreciated. (Aims to update mondays)


	6. Memories of a Doll

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so, what to do but try for some communication. Just try for understanding.

Ivan raised and eyebrow when he saw him come out from under the couch and return to his normal size, unaware that he could change his size.

"Can we at least do this in your room?" Matthew asked feebly. Ivan glared at him slightly but nodded. He picked Matthew up and carried him over to the bedroom, dropping him on the bed before sitting down himself.

They sat in silence for a moment. Ivan tried to figure out the best way to go about questioning a doll about the death of his sisters while Matthew nervously fiddled with his dress, ripping it then watching it repair itself over and over again.

Matthew sighed and laid down on the bed, letting the feeling of peace that seemed to come from this room settle on him, causing the slight (his last kill was two days ago, in the next town over) need to kill dissipate.

"You like it in here?" Ivan asked sounding just slightly bemused. Matthew nodded stiffly, still surprised by the newfound ability to move while in sight of someone. Though it was very stiff and felt disjointed, it was still an improvement on having to wait to be unseen to move.

"Things people own have a residual energy that I can feel. The energy is strongest in places people spend the most time in, so their rooms or offices. Usually I use that to decide the easiest way to kill someone, but yours is so... calming. It stopped me from killing you a couple of times." Ivan stared at him a moment, wondering if that was good or bad.

"Why didn't you tell me that you killed them?" Ivan asked trying and failing not to sound hurt.

"I didn't know." Matthew replied and the two fell into silence once again. Ivan sighed angrily.

"Can you at least tell me... the way they died... it didn't hurt, right?" Ivan asked softly. Mathew paused, just staring at him. Ivan couldn't place the look on his face.

"Well?" He asked, more angry now, "Did it?"

"Um... I'm not sure actually. "Painless" was never really a priority for me until now. Mostly since I was a little fuzzy on what pain actually was. And they were asleep at the time. I've never slept so... is it different than normal life? Does it change... things?" Matthew said hesitantly.

Ivan looked down to Matthew's normally inexpressive face. Now there were emotions flashing across his features. Worry, guilt, apathy, confusion and sorrow all warred across his eyes. It was at that moment that Ivan realized he had no idea what this was like for Matthew. He had forgotten... he was just a doll. A doll whose mission seemed to just be killing people. But there had to be more than that, right? Was he even aware of... everything? Death, and what it was? Feelings? Family?

He had always just ignored the fact that Matthew... wasn't really a person. Well, he was. Kinda. He definitely had a personality. But... he still wasn't human.

He was brought out of his confused thoughts from a "Ivan? Is it worse?" He asked. "Ivan? Are you okay, chère?"

He forced himself back into the present. Matthew had climbed on top of him to try and get a better look at his face. Ivan huffed and flopped down onto his bed. Matthew giggled lightly, clutching at the sweater Ivan was wearing, enjoying the short ride, before looking serious again.

"Is it your injury? Does it hurt? Can I do something to make it...uh ... not hurt? Is it going to hurt forever?" He his eyes went wide and his voice started to sound more and more worried. He opened his mouth, probably to freak out more over his injury, but Ivan put a hand atop his head to stop him.

"It will get better. It will just take a while, da? And I can't be running around anymore. It's bad for the healing process." Matthew still looked a little confused, but nodded anyway. He turned around so he was on his back, still on top of Ivan's chest, that way he could stare at the ceiling.

"Matvey." He said urgently, "I want you to tell me what happened to my sisters." Matthew tilted his chin up to look at him. "Please." Ivan said softly.

For the longest time Matthew just stared at him, a neutral look on his face.

"Why?" He asked, his voice tinged with genuine curiosity.

"What?"

"Why do you care? It was, like, six years ago. Does it still matter?"

"Nine." Ivan said under his breath. This time it was Matthew that voiced his confusion.

"What?"

"It's been nine years, seven months, and fourteen days. And, yes, it does matter to me." Ivan responded. Matthew simply nodded in response.

"Well, let's see then." Matthew began, his voice back to being passive. "That was the time I was bought for a girl named Lili. I think it was actually her brother at bought me, which is rare."

Ivan scooted up to the top of his bed, siting up slightly. Not enough for his injury to hurt, but he was eager to hear what the investigators never found out.

"I had been there for a couple of days, so it was really just a matter of time before someone died. I hadn't known at the time there would be one of those... "sleepover" things that night. At the time I thought it was a nice bonus though," Ivan growled in disgust "because then I'd get a couple extra days of peace."

He paused to look up at the scowling man. "I told you before," He drawled passively, "I had never really cared about killing people. Every time I kill someone I'd get a few days where I _don't_ have an overbearingly strong need to kill. Having a week just to myself... was a very rare treat."

"You killed _my sisters_ for that!" He growled out angrily. He muttered harshly in Russian. "You still have not answered me."

"I went into their dreams and I scared them to death. Basically, I gave them nightmares until their hearts stopped. It's the way I usually kill my victims." Matthew looked at his hands, checking them for blood even though he knew it was a stupid habit. There was never any blood.

He thought back to that night. Now that he thought about it, he realized that he had seen Ivan himself, years younger, when they dropped off the girls. _He was pretty cute._ He thought absently before banishing the absurd thought from his head. But then... a blurry memory...

The man that they were with, he seemed familiar. He closed his eyes to help him focus. He vaguely remembered that he looked like a stern man, seemed to scowl slightly as he talked to the parents of Lili. There was something important there, just on the tip of him tongue. He looked up to Ivan to ask.

"Are you crying?" Matthew asked softly.

Ivan sniffled, "Shut up, Matvey." But at Matthew's worried look he burst into tears. Matthew turn around and held him, something he gad seen grieving families do hundreds of times but had never really understood. Ivan held on, as if it was the only thing that could keep him afloat.

~TreesAndCheese~

Evening had fallen and Ivan was resting his injury in bed. Matthew had fetched his knitting and tea early and the two of them sat together. Matthew sat, tucked into the covers, before he remembered what he had wanted to ask.

"Uh... Ivan?" Ivan 'hmm-ed' to acknowledge him. "This may seem like an odd question, but who was the man that was with you when you dropped your sisters off at the sleepover?"

Ivan looked at him a moment over the top of his teacup. "Ah. That was probably our grandfather, he had taken care of us since we were very small."

"Here." He set the teacup down and picked up a picture on his nightstand. "This is a picture of him."

Mathew gently accepted the picture, but let out a gasp once he saw it.

"What?" Ivan asked concerned. Matthew's wide violet eyes met his.

"This is your grandfather? You must be mistaken."

"Nyet, that is most definitely him. Why?"

"Ivan... this... is the man that created me nearly two hundred years ago." Matthew said breathlessly.


	7. Flight to Fate

" _"This is your grandfather? You must be mistaken."_

_"Nyet, that is most definitely him. Why?"_

_"Ivan... this... is the man that created me nearly three hundred years ago." Matthew said breathlessly."_

The was an air of 'awkward' that hung about the house a couple of days after Matthew's announcement. And as much as Ivan would have loved to get on a plane and fly to Russia, where his grandfather lived, he simply did not have that kind of money. So they stayed put for a while, he needed a few weeks to gather funds and perhaps sell some knick knacks around the house for some cushion money. He went to work, but not for nearly as long as before he got stabbed by Matthew. Ivan rested in bed or on the couch as much as possible as he healed.

Things had actually gotten rather... domestic between Ivan and Matthew. While Matthew still played occasional pranks, though were not nearly as cruel and had significantly less potential for someone dying. Which was a plus for Ivan. Matthew now did little things to make Ivan's life easier. Whether it was fetching things for him or it was simply sitting with him and keeping him company.

Matthew happily sat on Ivan's lap as Ivan slowly knitted him a tiny sweater. Matthew had tried to explain that it was useless as he still didn't feel the cold despite the newfound emotions. Ivan insisted anyway, saying that he needed clothes other than the dress. He had asked Arthur to sew him a small wardrobe to be ready by the time they made it back from Russia.

"Ivan, how long till we can go?" Matthew asked from his spot on his lap.

"I should have enough in the next paycheck... so about two weeks." Ivan said and they fell into silence once more.

"Ivan..." He began, nearly an hour later.

"Yes?" Ivan prompted when it became clear he had stopped talking.

Matthew sighed. "I don't know if... I'm ready to meet him." He was literally going to meet his maker. He had so many questions.. ones he didn't know if he wanted answered.

"It will be fine, Matvey. My grandfather is a very kind man." He paused for a moment before speaking again. "Even if... well... despite what ever he did... before." He looked over at Matthew on his lap and put his knitting away for the night and began to talk about a man. A great and generous man who raised him and his sisters. But no matter how highly he spoke of him, and he mentioned the good and the bad, he couldn't equate that man with someone that would create him, a doll for killing people.

~TreesAndCheese ~

It was two weeks later exactly and Matthew was waddling around Ivan house in his new sweater helping him pack. He looked a little odd with an over-sized, slightly lumpy, tan sweater over his scarlet old fashioned dress, but he was thrilled with it.

"I am definitely excited to see him it's been about 11 years now, ya know? It will be good to see him" Ivan said cheerfully, Matthew _mm-hmm_ -ed while trying to close the clasps of the suitcase and keep his long sleeves out of the way. "I miss him, da?"

"Yep." Matthew said once he finished with the suitcase and Ivan picked him up along with the bags.

"Arthur should be here to drive us to the airport in a moment."

"When do I have to get in the suitcase?"

"Um... what was that, Matvey?"

"Well, we're going by plane, oui?"

"Yes..." Ivan drawled out after a moment.

"Well? Then when do I need to get in the suitcase? Everyone else has put me in one." Albeit, some were rather reluctant, depending on how strong a hold he had on their mind.

"Nyet. You are welcome to sit with me in the plane."

"Sit where?" He asked, bewildered. Ivan looked at him in confusion.

"On the seat. Just don't move around too much or let other people see you."

Matthew looked shocked for a moment. "I guess I just never thought of how humans traveled in planes. The every time I went in one it was dark and stuffy and I was stuck in suitcases." He realized not a moment later that it was _lonely_ as well.

"Don't worry," Ivan said with a fond smile, "it will not be like that this time."

Just then a car horn sounded outside and they piled into Arthur's car waiting outside. Arthur drove them to the airport, almost _cheerfully_ chatting about the tiny wardrobe he was making for Matthew.

~TreesAndCheese ~

The airport was crowded and loud and positively fascinating from his view in Ivan's arms. He was in awe of how many different people there were in one place. Ivan even told him little stories about his grandfather in whispers when he stopped for a bagel.

The security people seemed to take particular interest in Ivan for some reason, but they managed to make it to their flight just before it left. The plane itself, Matthew thought, was amazing. It was so... bright. And there was all these people. He even got to spend the entire time with Ivan which was so much better then being shoved in a bag. He sat, still as... well.. a doll... as the plane took off. The little girl in the same aisle as them seemed to take an interest in him. It made Ivan a little nervous when she leaned over the armrest and started chattering on excitedly and tugging on his clothes and playing with his hair. Ivan's hands tensed around his middle when she asked to hold him, but with an almost imperceptible nod form Matthew, he allowed it with a gruff, "Da, but be very very careful." Mathew wondered idly if Ivan thought he would kill her, but he knew for once he wouldn't.

For the first time since he got his emotions he was being held by a little girl. He took a pensive moment to himself and retreated into his mind as she clutched him to her chest and named him "Suzy".

He had been held by girls through out his entire existence. Three hundred years of it and he had no opinion of it either way. Now that he thought about it. It made him... _happy._ Probably one of the few things in his life that was pleasant. But when he compared the feeling to being held by Ivan, it simply paled in comparison.

_What would it be like?_ He wondered, _To be held by Ivan for all for eternity? For the rest of his existence? It would be bliss._ But he knew it would never be able to happen. He was no expert in humans, but he knew they didn't normally last very long.

Eventually...

Ivan would die.

His perfect smile must have dropped from his face just long enough for Ivan to notice. Before he even knew what was happening he was back on his lap and the girl next to him was crying and being consoled by her very embarrassed mother.

"Hold me, " He whispered only loud enough for Ivan to hear it. Confused and perhaps a little worried, Ivan complied. Matthew tried desperately to hold down his misery. It was easier now that his face was buried in Ivan's strong, comforting chest.

Of course Ivan would die. That really shouldn't be such a surprise to him. He would die while Matthew lived on. But... what if that didn't need to happen. Matthew had a thought. A terrible, glorious thought. Now all he had to do was figure out if it was possible...and if it was, what would the consequences be...

_Still,_ He reasoned, _it's not like I plan to live much longer then Ivan anyway._

The rest of the flight was spent with Matthew in a contemplative mood. Ivan noticed this and, while he was curious he decided not to pry.

~TreesAndCheese~

Touch down was easy, if not a little long and boring. The two of them rented a car and began their trip from Moscow, where they landed to a city called Rybinsk, where they would meet his grandfather. The drive over to Ivan's grandfather's house was actually very pleasant, even if they were too excited to do much more than some light chatting that eventually faded away as they got closer and closer to their destination. At last they pulled to a stop to a little house, at least compared to Ivan's. He stared to get out of the car, bringing Matthew with him.

The walk to the door was he longest that Matthew had ever known. He felt what he now know to be fear and nervousness pool in his stomach as Ivan rang the doorbell. He could feel Ivan's breath stop as the door opened.

"Ivan?" Questioned the confused man dressed in grey pants, a blue shirt, and a grey hat.

"Hello, Grandfather."

It was at that moment that he had noticed Matthew tucked in his grandson's arms.

"M-Ma-Matthew?" He stuttered in shock. His otherwise calm and happy face twisted with fear and shock.

"Grandfather," Ivan said softly, "We have some things to discuss."

He nodded and led them inside.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Thanks so much for reading! Please leave me a comment or kudos if you get a moment


	8. The Answering of Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conversations must happen, even when they hurt. Family is reunited, but all is not yet well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, university got me pretty busy.  
> Also I added some tags, please mind them.

Ivan's grandpa ushered the two of them into his house the moment he got over his shock. Their bags were put into the guest room and Ivan was sat down in the living room with a cup of tea so the two adults could "talk". Matthew didn't really listen much to the beginning of the conversation. He was too lost in thought about his plan. For some reason, he couldn't quite wrap his mind around the thought of living forever without Ivan. It was shocking to him how much his life had changed compared to how he was a couple hundred years ago. His life since he met Ivan was radically different and it was definitely for the best. But, as much as he mulled it over, he still couldn't quite figure out how to achieve what he wanted. Perhaps, it would be best to ask for some help. Perhaps his maker could provide some assistance. But before he could work out when exactly would be the best time to ask him, he heard some words the make his thoughts stop cold.

"I could get rid if him for you if you want." Mr. Winter said causally.

Suddenly, Matthew regretted not listening to the whole conversation.

"NYET!" Ivan grabbed Matthew in a sudden motion, pulling him protectively against his chest.

"Ivan," He said calmly, "You do realize that he doesn't really feel anything, right? He only kills people, that's it. That's what he was made for."

"I do feel things." Matthew small voice carrying in the now silent room. His creator's intense stare was then transferred to him and he regretted that he said anything at all.

"You can?" He questioned, for the first time regarding his as if he had some worth.

"Oui." Matthew huffed, his French coming out with his annoyance.

His eyebrow raised and Ivan shifted uncomfortably behind him. "What kind of things have you felt, Little One?"

Matthew blushed slightly under the scrutiny. "Guilt, fear, happiness, sadness... relief... concern... you know, just feelings."

"Amazing," Ivan's grandfather breathed, "And you can move when we're looking at you. That’s not supposed to happen." He said the last part directly at Ivan who nodded slightly.

Suddenly, his grand father moved closer to get a better look at him. He leaned in close, Ivan somewhat hesitatingly handing him over. Matthew pouted as he left Ivan's comforting hold. "Fascinating" He whispered so just Matthew could hear him. "This has only happened once before."

Matthew was confused a that. This had happened before? Does that mean there are, or were other like him? He was dying to know. He couldn't remember anyone else, but the memories back a few hundred years were a bit blurry.

"I suppose you and I will have a lot to discuss later then, da?" Ivan's grandfather said. Leaning back with a small smile. Matthew nodded in confirmation. Oh, there were many things he wanted to discuss.

After that there was a silent agreement to talk about other things. They all had many questions, of course. But they were also family that hadn't seen each other in ages. They talked for hours. They talked about other family members, Ivan's work, different things they've done and seen throughout the years they haven't seen each other. Matthew for the most part stayed out of the way, tucked next to Ivan's side on the couch and only getting up to get the two of them more tea.

~TreesAndCheese~

Diner was a quiet affair. Matthew could tell that Ivan had something he really wanted to ask. He could tell there was something burning inside him. He pondered over why he didn't just _ask him the question._ After all, that’s what they came to Russia for. Eventually, he came to the conclusion that he was trying to spare his feelings. _Humans are so weird._

Even though he was a little uncomfortable leaving Ivan's side after he made the revelation that he would have to live without him, if Ivan wanted him gone to ask a question, then he would comply.

Matthew reached over to tug on Ivan's sleeve. He looked over at him curiously. "Da? Do you need something, Little One?"

"I want walk around." Matthew said passively.

Ivan nodded and Mr Winter added with a stern look, "There is a reason things are locked, da?" He then waved dismissively towards the door. Matthew scrabbled down from the table with a huff. _Rude._ Like he would poke around the probable deathtrap he called a house.

His slippered feet made no noise as he slipped out of the open door way at pressed himself against the adjoining wall. He waited a few moments and then heard the distinctive sound of Ivan clearing his throat.

"Grandfather, I had a question..." His voice trailed off.

His grandfather sighed. "What is it? Feel free to ask me anything."

There was silence for a tense moment as Ivan organized his thoughts.

"Why?" Was all he said.

There was another heavy sigh from his grandfather.

"You mean why would I make such a monster as Matthew?"

"...Da."

Matthew took a breath. He didn't recognize that feeling, but it definitely didn't feel good.

"It was a different time… I had, for a long time, lost hope. I thought there was no reason for there to be so many people, if all of them were just cruel and selfish. I didn't think there was any hope for humanity; that we were all just wasting our time and destroying ourselves and the planet. I thought _with every ounce of my being_ that everyone deserved to die."

The two of them lapsed into silence.

"Do you still think that?" Ivan said quietly after a while.

"Nyet. It has been many many years since I thought such thoughts. Centuries of living, and eventually I learned of the good in this world. I have been trying to fix my mistakes for a while now. There are others, like Matthew, still in the world. I've been finding them and ending them. Once I do that, I believe it would be time to erase my mistakes completely."

"What are you saying?" Ivan's concerned voice rose up.

"After I find the last three, I will die.” There was the sounds of fabric shifting around and the click of a glass tapping on the table. “Do not look so sullen, Vanya. I have lived a long, long, life. Longer then I should have and you and your sisters were the only things good and worthwhile that I did. Its time for me to move on, if I can. It will be difficult to undo the dark magic that I used to keep myself alive for all these years. I think I can, but I'm not too sure yet.”

He continued. "There is one thing I know, though, Matthew must die. He cannot go on like this. He's caused misery and despair for countless people. He would have killed thousands by now. I can't let him go on like that, even if he has somehow gotten feelings."

Matthew sighed heavily. He had heard enough and now the compelling need rose up, that odd feeling that could only be quelled with murder welled up in his tiny chest.

 _I truly am a monster,_ he thought as he silently made his way out the door to find his next victim.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos and comments are cherished!


	9. Monster or Man?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matthew does what he does best, and this time... there are consequences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warning for violence and side character death.

He walked for about twelve miles until he reached a house tucked into the woods. He sensed that there was a potential victim. Matthew looked up and could see a room with pink curtains on the second floor. He sighed heavily as his little slippered feet brought him into the house via the unlocked window on the first floor. The need to kill grew as he climbed up the stairs and found himself in the familiar setting of a little girl's room. He tilted his head and caught the sound of footsteps climbing up the stairs. He quickly hid himself in a pile of dolls and other toys and blended in.

A little girl, perhaps five or six years of age, and her mother walked into the room.

"Time for bed, Hanna. Pick someone to sleep with, then go brush your teeth." The women said.

"Okay~!" The little girl, Hanna, cheerfully bounced over to Matthew and the pile of stuffed animals. Suddenly his vision was obscured by her big blue eyes and blond curls. She brought her hand up, trailing it over several others before her eyes rested on him. There was a change deep in her eyes, a part of his spell. The lure. The thing that kept this possible. When humans looked at him, they became addicted to his presence. It was how he managed to always find a victim.

She grinned and brought him over to her bed before flouncing out of the room, most likely to brush her teeth.

Her mom smiled as she left then rose to get a better look at the doll she chose. He watched with his usual smile plastered on his face as she examined him.

"I don't remember buying this one..." She trailed off uncertainly. She sighed and shrugged it off. "Must have been a while ago." He wondered idly why they always thought that, why they never even suspected anything.

Soon the little girl flounced back into the room. Her mom carefully tucked her into bed and read her a bedtime story. All the time, Matthew laid there silently with Hanna curled around him. He felt safe and warm. And so, so guilty. He was going to kill this girl, just so he could...what? Have a few days peace? He didn't even get any days peace anymore because then he would just feel guilty. Was he doing it to live? Could he even die if he didn't do it? It all seemed to pointless. He sighed quietly and knew he would go through with it anyway.

He watched the mother as she stood to turn off the light and gently shut the door, plunging the two into darkness broken only by a flower shaped night light in the corner of the room.

He hated himself as he sensed her slip into the land of dreams. He frowned into the darkness and got to work, turning her dreams to nightmares and her life to death.

He reached into her mind and fed her fear and panic while making sure she didn't move or make any sound. He waited until her panicked heart couldn't take anymore before he made his final move. He added despair to her dreams. Within moments, her heart stopped. Throughout that time neither of them made even the slightest noise, though it had taken hours. He frowned as he felt the normal feeling of _right_ that came from a kill, but was now tainted with guilt and sadness.

He untangled himself from the bed and silently slipped to the floor. It was at that moment when something occurred to him. If he could give pain and fear, then he could give other things too, right? There was probably a better, less painful way to do this.

He suddenly wanted nothing more than to be with Ivan. He ran out the door and made a quick escape from the house.

~TreesAndCheese~

By the time Matthew made it back to the house he was an emotional wreck. _Stupid emotions._ He thought bitterly.

The first thing he did when he got there was run into Ivan's room. He jumped on the bed and borrowed under Ivan's arm, and clutched onto him desperately.

"What's wrong Matvey?" Ivan said in concern; his voice rough with lingering sleep. Matthew shook his head and hid his face. It sounded exactly like he was crying, but he shed no tears.

Ivan tried to get him to talk, and for a while he would only babble sadly in French. The door creaked open and his grandfather appeared, who woke up when he heard noise from his grandson's room. Eventually Matthew calmed down enough that Ivan could ask him again what was wrong.

"I hurt them, Ivan, they're dead because of me. I'm sorry. I hurt you and I hurt them and I'm so, so sorry." Matthew murmured. Ivan knew exactly who he was talking about. He sighed and pulled Matthew tighter. "I didn't have to hurt them. There was another way."

"Matthew!” Ivan said sternly. "What are you talking about?"

"Your sisters! I don't think I had to hurt them. They were in so much _pain_ and despair. It didn't have to be like that. If I can give fear, can't I give peace as well? There had to be a better way."

There was the staccato click of Mr. Winter's shoes on the floor. He wrenched Matthew from Ivan's grip.

"You," He hissed between clenched teeth, "You _killed my precious angels?"_ Matthew could only nod miserably. He turned on his heel and practically flew out of the room, taking Matthew with him.

"Wait! Grandfather wait! No don't." Ivan scrambled to follow them. Mr. Winter arrived at a door near his room and fumbled with putting the key in the lock and shoving it open. Inside was a simple stone room with chalk circles and symbols on the floor. He was muttering in an ancient language under his breath as he lit a fire in the center of one of the circles. He fire glowed an unnatural scarlet, the same exact colour as his dress.

Ivan swept into the room with panic evident in his eyes.

"Stay back, Ivan. I'm doing this for your own good." Mr. Winter's voice rang ominously in the room.

"Grandfather, no. Don't hurt him. Please." Ivan's rapid protests were simply ignored. When he tried to grab a hold of Matthew he was shoved to the ground, further hurting his back where he was stabbed. When he fell over he knocked over some glass bottles, the glass had cut into his arm and blood was everywhere.

Mr. Winter looked sternly at the doll in his hands. The one who had caused so much pain and trouble for his family. And he was sure his dear grandson was under his spell. He was just glad it would be over soon. There was no way Matthew could be anything but evil. He was sure of it.

"It's okay, Ivan. I deserve this. I should never have been made in the first place. At least now, no one else will die. It's for the best." Matthew's voice had a tinge of French but he seemed calm as he looked at the one man he cared about, gasping and writhing on the floor. "I'm just so glad... that I got to meet you." His voice was choked up from crying.

He had cried before, but there were never any actual tears. It was just one more thing that separated him from the humans he killed.

Matthew smiled sadly and looked at Ivan for the last time to calm himself.

He hadn't realized that there were actual tears, until they fell into the fire, sizzling loudly in the stone room. Mr. Winter stared in shock as they rolled down Matthew's cheeks. His stance faltered. The tension in the room was palpable.

Ivan looked on with wide eyes, but the moment his grandfather's grip started to falter he launched himself to his feet and grabbed Matthew, tucking him close to his chest. "Don't hurt him. He's all I have in that lonely house... and... I don't know how long I would live without him."

Mr. Winter only shook his head mutely and moved away from the two

"What changed your mind?" Ivan asked tentatively.

"It wouldn't work. That fire is used to destroy evil beings and objects. I knew the moment he started crying that there was no more evil in him. At this moment, that fire would probably do more damage to me than him." Mr. Winter body sagged down heavily, he sighed with relief and sadness.

"Grandfather, you are not evil."

He made a face, but didn't argue. "Matthew, I shall speak with you in the morning about how we should proceed." And with that Mr. Winter walked out the door, not looking his son in the eye, ashamed that he didn't trust him and that he tried to kill his friend.

Ivan held onto Matthew as he cried himself out. It was nearly an hour later when he removed his sniffling face from Ivan's now wet shirt.

"Desole." Matthew mumbled, sniffling slightly and rubbing his eyes. He was in awe that he could cry. Perhaps it wasn't as hopeless as he thought. He wasn't some soulless monster that just watched people cry and never cared. Now he cared. He could finally grieve for those lost, though perhaps he wasn't entirely sure how to do that.

"It's fine." Ivan replied tiredly.

"I'm sorry.. about your sisters."

There was a long pause before Ivan patted his head. "You did not know." And he left it at that. "Let's just go to bed. We’ll talk in the morning, da?"

Matthew nodded. Ivan picked him up and brought the both back to bed, tucking Matthew in gently. He leaned over and gently kissed him on the forehead. They smiled at each other and that night, for the first time, Matthew slept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please kudos and review!


	10. Needed Flesh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Calm before the storm... well not really because they play monopoly and no one can play that calmly. Also they all discuss the next step.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO! turns out i had posted chapter 11 in this chapter ten slot. I'm sorry. this is the real chapter ten.

Matthew blinked in the sunlight, startled. He had never fallen asleep before and he found out that just laying in bed after was nice. No wonder Ivan stayed in bed so long on the weekends. His mouth opened in surprise when he realized what had woken him up. Ivan was hovering over him, brushing his fingers through his hair. His smile seemed to take up his whole field of vision. Matthew smiled in return.

"Good morning, Sleepyhead." Ivan smile was gentle and teasing. "I didn't even know you could sleep. Here I thought you just crept around my house while I was asleep."

Matthew hummed and tilted his head into Ivan's touch. "I've never slept before. Usually I'd just watch you sleep or maybe clean a bit." His passive voice was just barely tinged with lingering sleep.

"Ah." Ivan brought up a couple fingers and brushed them against his cheek, much like he did they very first time he saw him. "Breakfast is should be ready soon." Matthew _hmm_ -ed but otherwise didn't move.

"How are you feeling?" Ivan asked with a hint of concern.

"Fine." He said, "Just a little numb, I guess."

"Da, yesterday was a lot to handle."

Matthew nodded.

He wondered what the day had in store. So far, he'd have to say that he didn't really like Ivan grandfather very much- given the fact that he tried to kill him. But Ivan still cared about him, so he supposed he would just have to deal with him.

His musings were interrupted by Ivan's stomach giving a loud grumble.

"Hungry?" Matthew asked. Ivan nodded and bushed slightly. "Let's go." Matthew said. He got up and walked to the door with Ivan trailing after him.

~TreesAndCheese~

During breakfast Matthew wondered idly what the point of eating was. He knew it sustained life, but by the faces of the two Russians he was with, it seemed rather unpleasant. Or they could be grimacing because they were uncomfortable with the fact the Mr. Winter tried to kill him, but looking at the tan mushy stuff in the bowls they were eating from; it seemed more likely to be the food.

Once breakfast was over they all moved to the sitting room.

"So." Mr Winter began, addressing Matthew directly. "What exactly is it that you want?"

The two Russians looked him carefully. Matthew opened his mouth to answer, but quickly realized he wasn't sure what to say. He knew he wanted to spend forever with Ivan, but he also knew that he wanted to stop being a doll and live and actual life. Those two things were probably impossible together.

"I want to spend as much time as possible with Ivan." Was what he ended up saying. He fiddled with his skirt, a nervous habit had picked up, ripping at it and watching it repair itself.

Matthew sighed. "I don't want to be this anymore. I don't want to hurt people. I like being able to feel and care; its nice. Even though there have been negatives it has seemed to have been worth it."

Ivan's grandfather hmm-ed passively at him. "Would you be happier if you were a human like Ivan?"

Matthew perked his head up and even Ivan looked interested.

"You can do that?" Surprise coloured Ivan's tone.

"Da. The price for humanity is high and some of the ingredients are difficult to get, but the spell itself is fairly simple for me."

"Oui," Matthew ducked his head down tucking it closer to Ivan's side, "I think I would like to be like Ivan."

Ivan put a soothing hand of Matthew's back, but his posture was tense and his voice was strained as he asked. "What exactly is that high price you speak of, Grandfather?"

Mr Winter sighed and leaned back n his seat. "The most difficult ingredient would be the flesh, da? It would have to be human and very, very fresh. It's what the form of the body would be based off of. I suppose Matthew could just kidnap someone of the street and use their fingers or something, but he would probably be a little reluctant to do that, da?"

Matthew nodded and Ivan frowned in concern

"As for the price... Mathew has caused much pain in his existence. It has, for lack of a better word, tainted his soul. He would have to cleanse it in order to pass from demon, what he is now as a possessed doll, to become a human. He would have to experience every ounce of pain that he inflicted in anyone in his two hundred years. And trust me, that will not be pretty."

The was a pause as Ivan and Matthew absorbed this. Matthew looked up and noticed the other's look of distress. Matthew stood, climbed up onto Ivan's lap, and stretched as far as he could to reach Ivan's face. "Don't be sad." He brushed a hand across his cheek, trying to lessen the frown on his face. "It's going to be okay, oui?"

Ivan smiled slightly and nodded. "If this is what you want Matthew then I won't stand in your way. I want you to be happy."

Matthew nodded resolutely. "This is what I want. I'm sure."

For the first time, Mr. Winter smiled at him. And for just a moment he looked just like a proud father.

"Хорошо. We shall get started right now. I'll most likely have the ingredients tracked down by the end of the week."

~TreesAndCheese~

Ivan and Matthew had the week mostly to themselves. Matthew could almost forget the pain he caused, brought fresh by his sudden realization that it was all for nothing, that he probably never had to hurt any of them. There were times, though, when it would just hit him. What he did. The implications and reactions of the people left behind. He almost did it to Ivan. He could have _so many times_. He shuddered to think how much would be different of his not-quite-a-life if he had just killed Ivan in the firsts day or two.

He looked down at his hands. He could have sworn that for just for one moment they were covered in blood. He, even though he knew it was pointless and all in his head, discretely tried to scrub at them. To get rid of the scarlet stains he could see so clearly on his mind.

"Matvey?" Ivan's voice broke through his frantic thoughts. "Are you okay?"

He stopped and looked up into Ivan's eyes. Suddenly, he felt calmer.

"Yeah," he said, putting his hands down onto his lap. "I'm totally fine." The two smiled at each other.

"Good!" Ivan said cheerfully. "Do you want to play a game, then?"

Matthew tilted his head to the side and nodded. "What kind of game?"

Ivan's grin had an evil gee to it as he said "Monopoly! Don't worry, I can teach you how to play."

Matthew smiled and nodded, soon to find out that that was a very bad game to play; the both of them were horribly aggressive and determined. By the end of the night they ended up braking two vases, a picture frame, and Ivan found out exactly how many languages Matthew could cuss proficiently in. Eight. Apparently Matthew speaks eight languages, while Ivan was limited to just two. The game finally ended when Matthew chucked the board across the room.

~TreesAndCheese~

It was late in the evening when Mr. Winter finally emerged from is office. Ivan and Matthew stopped squabbling to look over at him. There was silence for a moment as they waited for him to speak.

"I've laid down the spells and found most of the ingredients. I have a contact in America that can get me the rest. I've already called him and he's going to send it over. The only thing left to get is the flesh." At this they both looked at Matthew expectantly.

He frowned, he really didn't want to hurt anybody. He wasn't an expert on physical pain, but he was pretty sure losing a finger or toe would really hurt. He looked up at Ivan for reassurance, but his face gave away nothing about what he was feeling. "I think I can find someone." He muttered as though it physically pained him to say that. Immediately self-hatred welled up inside him.

He jumped slightly as Ivan suddenly put his hand on his head. He titled his head in a silent question.

"I don't want to hurt people." He murmured. Ivan nodded slightly. For a moment Matthew thought that was the end of it, but nearly three minutes later when Ivan spoke.

"It would not be a lot that you need, yes?" His voice was soft and serious.

His grandfather turned to look at him. "Just a toe should suffice, but it would hurt a lot".

Ivan sighed.

"I'll do it." He said finally.

 


	11. Midnight Price

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The price of humanity is discussed, the spell is set, and the magic begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS for: Mild Gore and Maiming.
> 
> (I had accidentally posted this instead of chapter ten! please go back to chapter ten and read that so you won't be confused!)

"I'll do it." He said.

Mathew gasped. "Non. Ivan, don't." He looked to Mr. Winter desperately. "There has to be another way! Can't we just use a steak or something?"

"Only if you want to turn into a cow." Mr. Winter shot back angrily. At Matthew's look he softened. "There's no other way. It has to be human and it has to be fresh. And if he does this voluntarily, then I will do everything in my power to make it as painless as possible."

Matthew was about to argue but Ivan stopped him. "I'm not going to let you hurt anymore strangers, Matvey."

"AND HOW IS HURTING YOU ANY BETTER?" Matthew screeched at him, standing up and balling his tiny hands into fists.

"Matthew." Mr. Winter said sharply, silencing him. "I will take care of him myself. He will be very safe with me watching over him."

He took a step back, startled by the intensity of Mr. Winter's look. He could only turn away, muttering harsh words in French under his breath. The two Russians were resolute and too stubborn for their own good and Matthew knew it would do no good to argue with them.

Mr. Winter stood up. "I'm going to set everything up. My contact will be sending over the last ingredients later tonight." He walked out the door.

He huffed angrily and paced around on the table he was placed on. Ivan watched him closely until he settled down.

Silence fell in the room once more.

"Matvey?" Ivan said tentatively. "It's for the best." Matthew looked the other way, arms crossed. Ivan came closer, knelt next to him. "I just want what's best for you, for you to be happy. I care about you so much." Matthew held out his arms to him. Ivan smiled softly and pulled him close.

"I care about you too." Matthew whispered in the comforting embrace. He let Ivan carefully take him off the table and curled up with him. He wiggled in his embrace after a minute, wanting to see his face. He sighed happily and carefully put their foreheads together.

They both flinched when they heard a polite cough at the door. They looked over to see Mr, Winter standing there.

"I never realized you two care so dearly for each other. It should have been obvious...just by looking at the two of you." His voice seemed distant. He slowly walked towards the two. "You know," He said, looking intently at them. "There is something I could do to keep you guys together. It's sort of like a... soul binding. The only way you two could die is if it was at the same time."

He paused to look at them intently. "I'm not sure if you should do it though. It can not be undone." His gaze showed the weight of this decision.

Ivan and Matthew regarded each other. "Perhaps we could discuss that tonight by ourselves?" He nodded.

"I should be ready by tonight."

~TreesAndCheese~

The night went by in a daze for Matthew. There was an unease that seemed to radiate from Ivan. He tried to calm him down as much as possible but he also felt rather apprehensive.

It was nearly midnight when Mr. Winter finally said he had the last ingredient and that everything was set up.

Matthew and Ivan slowly made their way to the back room, the one that was always locked. Ivan's grandfather waited for them there, a stern look in his face.

"Ivan, once the spell is set and we shut this door no matter what you hear you must make sure not to open it again." He said, his voice heavy in the gloom of the hallway.

"Why?" Ivan said in concern. "What are you afraid that I'll hear?"

"The spell itself is pretty painless. After that, though, not so much. " He noticed that he still looked confused. "Each spell requires a price, as I've mentioned before. Matthew's price for his life is that he must experience every single drop of pain that he caused as a doll."

He put a gentle hand on his shoulder. "It won't be pretty." He turned to look at Matthew. "Are you sure you're willing to pay that price?"

Matthew nodded, "I am very sure." Any price was worth it to be able to be human with Ivan. Plus, he was hopeful that he could have some closure from this.

At the very least he thought pain was what he deserved.

"Did you two decide if you wanted to join your souls?"

"Does it have to be now?" Ivan asked.

"No. It can be done at any time."

"Then we were hoping to wait." Matthew said quietly.

"Okay." Mr. Winter said. "Lets get started then." And he led them into the dark room.

~Treesandcheese ~

Matthew sat down tentatively in the middle of the stone floor. Chalk circles spiraled out around him, crisscrossing each other. Odd shapes and letters flowed in and out of each circle. Mr. Winter was walking around, spreading powder and colourful petals around him, muttering something under his breath in a language Ivan had never heard before, the room grew colder with each word.

Finally, he brought a shallow bowl filled with a violently bubbling, deep red liquid.

Ivan sat quietly on a chair just outside the farthest circle.

"Just a toe should do." His grandfather said. Ivan nodded solemnly. "Are you sure you want to go through with this?" He asked gently. He nodded again. "Okay. We have to work quickly now."

He moved over to check the large dusty tome that he left on a near by table. Ivan looked over to Matthew who was sitting nervously in the center of the room. Their eyes met and they shared a weak smile. Mr. Winter's voice rose, shaking the walls. The chalk turned a bright green and started to smoke gently.

He moved closer to Ivan, wielding a silver knife. He knelt in front of him, still chanting. He positioned the bowl under his foot and carefully positioned the knife, ready to cut off the smallest toe. Suddenly he moved, Ivan gasped harshly as pain flew up his leg, there was a sickening _plop_ as the toe fell into the bowl, turning the liquid black.

The chanting changed, Mr. Winter took the bowl and carefully poured it over Matthew's head. The gentle green smoke thickened and started chocking out the air in the room. Mr. Winter moved, practically dragging Ivan out of the rooms slammed the door shut behind them.

He knelt in front of his grandson and pressed a dark cloth soaked in some potion to his foot. The pain soothed immediately.

"Is Matvey going to be okay?" Ivan coughed, trying to get the smoke out of his lungs.

His grandfather nodded. "The spell worked. All that's left is the price. Remember, no matter what you hear you can't open the door."

Ivan nodded.

Then the screaming started.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoyed this please let me know! this is the penultimate chapter so the next one will be the last.


	12. Night Pain and Morning Smiles (End)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter. The spell is set and the dust settles. Perhaps its time to go home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: descriptions of violence

Ivan was up and on his feet in a second. It was obviously Matthew. Even though he sounded different he was sure it was him.

"Matvey!" He shouted.

"Sit Ivan!" His grandfather said sternly, practically shoving him down. "You still need to heal."

Ivan looked down. His foot was still bleeding sluggishly, but he couldn't really feel it. He sat down with a stressed huff. In the room Matthew's screaming had petered off to only slightly quieter sobbing. He dragged himself closer to the door, putting a hand on the oddly warm wood. The last of the whips of smoke from the spell wafted out of the crack under the door.

~TreesAndCheese~

Mathew sat up suddenly, panicked by the smoke that surrounded him. His head swam and he was disoriented. He felt... too tall. His dress was gone and there seemed to be just too much of him. He wriggled his toes, relishing in the odd feeling. He grinned to himself. /It worked!/ He happily sat there for a moment when suddenly the was a sharp pain just above his ankle and almost immediately after in his thigh.

He screamed. It was his first kill, a messy one from the first day he was made. It was some man he found on the street. He stabbed him with a stick in the ankle and thigh and then clawed at his chest until the man had died. It wasn't until much later that he found out how to kill people in their sleep. He screeched, falling to the floor as there was a sudden pain in his chest. His back arched painfully off the floor as he screamed. He distantly heard Ivan call his name, but could concentrate on anything but the immense pain. It suddenly stopped before an unbearable wave of grief washed over him. The grief of the man's sister who had found him in the alley after he left him. He curled into a ball and sobbed. He cried for what felt like and eternity before the pain started up again. It felt just like his arms were being ripped out of their sockets; his second kill.

~TreesandCheese~

The sun was high in the sky. Earlier that night Matthew had dragged himself closer to the door and Ivan could hear him moaning softly, his screams had died off hours ago, just on the other side of the door. Ivan tired to press himself as close to the door as possible and offer any comfort he could from the other side of the wood.

Suddenly Matthew started screaming his name. "Ivan! Ivan! Ivan!" Over and over again, desperation colouring his tone.

"Matvey?" He asked breathlessly. "Whats wrong?"

"Mon Dieu. It hurt so bad." He broke off, gasping with pain. "It stabbed so bad when I hurt you." He sobbed. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He repeated it over and over.

Ivan sighed, pressing his forehead against the door, trying to stop the tears. "It's alright, Matvey. I forgive you. I forgive you. Please Matvey. Please please please please." He wasn't even sure what he was begging for. Matthew went back to crying miserably on the other side of the door. Ivan slid down and curled up on the floor. There was silence except for the occasional exhausted moan of pain or whimper from the other side of the door. It was an hour later before his grandfather came back with the key.

Ivan caught sight of him and stood up unsteadily. Solemnly, he slipped the key in and opened it.

There was a slight thump as Matthew sprawled at their feet when the door he had been slumped against suddenly moved.

Ivan faltered a bit when he caught sight of him. He was no longer the tiny doll in red dress that he had come to love. This was a teenager or young man... but it looked just like him. He was just bigger. And softer. And naked.

"Matvey?" He whispered almost reverently.

He got a small moan in reply.

"Take him to bed. Let him rest. He's had a long day. I'm going to see about getting him some clothes." Mr. Winter said softly, placing a hand on his grandson's shoulder in comfort.

Ivan nodded and scooped Matthew up carefully. He carried him princess style to the bedroom, averting his eyes politely. He tucked him into the plush bed, brushing a hand across his face and tucking his hair behind his ear. He gave a small half smile as he remembered doing the same with a single finger before.

Matthew slept until the next day.

He woke up slowly, light filtered in through the window. He blinked, startled, and sat up slowly. "Ivan?" He called softly, receiving no reply. He huffed out a breath and scooted to the side of the bed, feeling a little disproportionate as he was now so much bigger. He sat up and swung his legs down so his feet touched the floor. He wiggled his toes experimentally against the carpet. He sighed and heaved himself up, taking unsteady steps towards the door. He noticed he was dressed in a large red hoodie that slightly resembled the dress he had worn his whole life and a pair of shorts. He wondered idly where they had come from.

"Ivan?" He called again as he opened the door softly. He heard voices filtering down from the kitchen. He walked down the hallway, blinking in the sudden light from the kitchen. The voices stopped.

Ivan appeared before him, but hovered uncertainly about a foot away. Matthew bit his lip, suddenly nervous.

"Matvey?" His voice was a soft as a breeze. He nodded, unable to speak. "Oh Matvey." He rushed forward enveloping him in his arms. Matthew finally released the breath he didn't know he was holding.

"Ivan." He said, his voice as sweet as ever. Ivan simply held him closer in answer.

They moved apart as Mr. Winter cleared his throat. "I suppose you're hungry, Matthew?"

Matthew's stomach grumbled and Ivan chuckled slightly before helping him to the table. He sat him down and quickly pulled his own chair right next to his, eager to be close to him.

"You were never able to taste anything, da?" Mr. Winter asked from near the stove. Matthew shook his head. He had never been able to taste or feel warmth. "Well," He said. "I think you'll love these."

He placed a plate of flat, golden-brown... things... in front of him and a glass jar of some brownish liquid.

"What are these? I don't think I've seen them before." He poked at them lightly with his fork.

"Pancakes and syrup, or course." Ivan said, sassily in Matthew's opinion. "How have you never seen them before?"

"Well, I never really had much need to pay attention to human food before this." He huffed and pouted.

"Here." Ivan said and took some of the brown stuff and poured it on the flat things. "Try it."

Matthew looked at him suspiciously for a moment before slightly reluctantly pulling off a piece with his fingers, scrunching his nose up at the sticky feeling.

"Use your fork." Ivan snipped. He just stuck his tongue out at him.

Matthew sighed and brought the food to his mouth, giving Ivan and his grandfather one more look before putting it in his mouth.

His jaw dropped.

_"Mon dieu."_

~TreesandCheese~

They arrived home after a rather grueling flight and Ivan rushed them through the airport until they were standing at the door waiting for Arthur to pick them up. Ivan perked up as he came into view.

"There you are!" Arthur said angrily. “I've been looking for you everywhere! Where's Matthew? I finished his wardrobe and I think he is going to truly love it, if i do say so myself. Blast, where did the little twat run off to?" He said when he saw Ivan wasn't holding him.

"He's right here, da?" He gestured to him. Arthur's eyes slid over to him before widening comically. He spluttered for a moment before finally managing to say, "Bloody hell. There's no way his clothes are going to fit him now."

Matthew laughed lightly. "Apologies, Arthur. I suppose it just slipped our minds to tell you."

He hummphed grumpily and lead them to the car, asking about where they got the "incredible amounts of magic" to turn him into a human on the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so so much for reading all the way to the end! If you would like to leave a review now is the time. Every review and kudos is deeply appreciated!
> 
> its been really fun going over my old fics like this ^_^ thanks for sharing the experience with me


End file.
